I Won’t Complain……Promise
I am an invisible soul watching the world from a quiet resting place. I witness the rich in all their flamboyance and privilege. How they spare no expense on their pleasures. They have their mansions, elaborate cars, endless champagne fundraising dinners and tax breaks! Oh, how they love the spotlight and the attention the world gives to them. They pass me by constantly, as I walk in their shadows and inhale the fragrance of high society in my nostrils. I was not born to this privileged life, I say to myself. There are no “Silverspoons” in my heritage, if so, they have been stolen, but “I won’t complain”.
Life in this world has proven to be tainted with falsities and empty promises. In my invisible existence, I have sat among some very prominent souls and they have left me void of hope. I have searched and searched for a reason to be happy in my existence, but I am always met with moral conflict, which causes me to retreat into my invisibility where it is safe, true and honest. How I would like to show myself to the world, but I can’t. They will not understand me and all that I see in their shadows. The discourse that has shaped the multitudes is provocative and shameful. I stay quiet in my invisibility, where I won’t complain.
The wealth of knowledge that I have acquired in my in quiet corner is staggering. I have written it all down and categorized my findings during my invisibility in the world. No one would ever guess in a thousand years, the truths that I have discovered. I have written it all in my secret book. I have learned about laws, economics, family, friends and religion. It all made sense when I put my collective studies together. It took me years of pain and suffering to understand that true happiness will never be found without unconditional love. I have seen millions proclaim they have found true love. Only to see their claims die in utter destruction. How is that possible? How can true love betray itself, I wondered? So, the question I had to seek was, what is true love? It certainly was not in society because I have been among them too long, but I won’t complain.
How do I exist like this? It is a fair question to ask, since I have observed the worthlessness of this life. Well, in my sacred place, I have found true love. I had surely searched for it in the world and found nothing but pain. I found love where it always is and was, it is in me! I searched my heart to its deepest core and I discovered some unseemly things there. Love was being suffocated by worldly desires and all its falsities and empty promises of bliss. Things that only brought me temporary happiness. When I surrendered the world, love moved in and took over my heart and it made me glad! Some may say that I am a fool for not reaching for the “Brass Ring”. Why condemn others because they want to get the prize? The truth is, I am not condemning anyone. I am warning everyone “All that glitters in not gold” I learned that by being invisible. If I can spare anyone a lifetime of deception, this is the truth! I say, “You can have the world, but give me Jesus” and I won’t complain!
Jessica L. Matthews